Hi all! Coach Shelby here! I had my wonderful friend Stacey write a little pick me up note for all of you because yes, I am also in quarantine but I DO NOT HAVE KIDS! I thought about sharing my experience but felt at this time someone like Stacey would be able to provide you with the feeling of "I get it! You're not alone." So here it is:
From a Mom in Quarantine Who Gets It!
By Stacey Marshall
Phew, as I typed that title I felt a little exhausted. I must admit I don’t often reflect on the above, however when Shelby asked me to create a blog post, I felt as always honoured and then sat down on my couch today to reflect.
For 12+ years, I have done all the above and every now and again, I would reflect on it. However, the recent changes to our world have intensified all the roles we have and how we manage them. I am far from having it all figured out and quite frankly COVID-19 really sent me into a tailspin. For anyone that knows me, I am a germaphobe. I have always walked through life with that heightened anxiety. When I didn't feel safe in my own home, I admired the ones who simply didn’t get phased by things and walked through the world with a warrior’s heart to the world of germs.
COVID-19 made me terrified, what do you mean I have no way of knowing if I was exposed, how to protect my family and I now have to worry about the groceries I bring home? I had even started a countdown because we had spent a weekend in New York City at the beginning of March. I was simply terrified.
As a mom, you don’t want to spread feelings of stress, anxiety or worry to your kids. You want to remain strong and help them feel secure, so sometimes I suffered in silence. When I did ask my daughter if she was okay or not, we could easily talk about it. Surprisingly, she is navigating this much better than I am. Besides not being able to ride her horse she has rolled with the ever-changing roller coaster we all are experiencing. I struggled to keep things the same and keep my certainty anchors each day so I could maintain some 'control' over our lives.
Day by day things would change, my husband would be working from home as well for the foreseeable future, mandatory quarantine happened, no longer could I wander the Winners if I needed a breakand then - online school. While each time something changed, my inner self cringed until that little voice told me that I would figure it out. It was an internal battle. What I've discovered is that parents ROCK! We will figure it out, we just do. Talking to friends, reaching out and sharing what we know and connecting over this common experience has been huge for me.
When I feel like saying, "Today was a tough day," I know it's okay. Virtual calls have become a lifeline for me and I have slowly started to make different choices and embrace the things I cannot control. Each time the school board posts a new date for the return to school, I hold onto it like it's guaranteed, only to feel disappointed when it changes. I have learned to let that go, while not perfect I know that all these “dates” are ever changing and that the best thing I could do for me was just let it be…the best I could.
For all parents out there, you are doing GREAT. We are all struggling in our own way so even the fact that you got up & kissed your kids this morning is awesome! Be proud, regardless of how much school work they do, what dinners look like or if they brushed their hair, you simply ROCKED IT today.
Let the expectations go, be extra kind to yourself and recognize that you are a fantastic parent. And remember, its okay to be sad too…I'm sending you all a very BIG virtual hug.
Shelby, again! I am sending you all a great big virtual hug during this time. I hope that Stacey's words left a mark on your heart and mind as they did mine - I've loved checking in with your girls during this time via our weekly zoom classes but goodness, do I miss the real thing! The hugs, the hi-5's and the "Hey Shelby, can I talk to you for a sec?" All of it. How wonderful will it be the day we reunite for classes in-person?
See you soon, on zoom!